Every Once In A While, I Answer Letters!

THE SONIC BOOMER

Because it’s summer and I’m “on vacation,” I decided to answer the letter that my childhood friend, Bonnie, sent me four months ago. This is actually record time, as you shall see.

Dear Bon,

Surprise! I am actually answering your letter of April 11! I always save your Christmas letters, too, with every intention of answering — until the next one shows up a YEAR later. Hopefully, things will slow down a bit now, but I doubt it! My older girlfriends tell me life just speeds up faster and faster. It sure seems that way!

Thanks for asking about my “kids.” Daughter Jen LOVES her grown-up life as a mechanical engineer, although she is now officially an Imagineer (her company, Hallmark, got permission from licensee Disney to use the title) and mostly sits around in a think tank all day trying to come up with cool stuff — the dream job she always wanted. Neither of us can believe they pay her to do this.

Her husband, Greg, has started up City Bitty Farm on their property to supply local restaurants with micro greens. Son Charlie just returned from visiting her, where he designed and painted a bat house to, yes, house live bats. I didn’t know this before, but I guess every backyard farmer needs bats.

My parents are doing well, too. Mom goes to the Y for exercise three times a week, and Dad swims (regulation!) laps, one for every year he’s lived. As for me, if I walk around the block, I give myself a gold star.

How is your knitting business going? Not too many people still shear the sheep and card the wool themselves. I think you should sell your stuff to Palm Beach shops at sky-high prices because their clientele also have homes where it’s cold — up north, in Europe and probably in the Yukon. Whatever looks most (to us) like a flagrant disregard for cost is where they want to live.

I’m sure you remember my brother Jim. He and Linda now have one grandchild who is 5. Linda says the kid is off the wall with hyperactivity. She thinks it’s his bajillion food allergies, and it probably is. Doesn’t matter — I always consider hyperactivity a good thing as opposed to its alternative, life as a slug. The kid absolutely adores Jim, and Jim still loves anything mechanical, so he’s trying to pass on what he knows to the kid (typical grandparent!).

I was sorry to hear that your son broke up with the girl who knew that “an egg cup makes a very good hat.” Not everyone reads “Eloise,” so it’ll be hard to replace her. Maybe he’ll find someone to cook “Green Eggs and Ham.” There’s always hope.

I am still quite happy with my antiques shop. It’s 3,000 square feet and I have stocked it to the gills – all sweetly arranged but DENSE. We are having our best fiscal year since we opened 10 years ago and I need a second location, but first I need to do an inventory of the place. Why don’t you agree to help? We’ll catch up on things over the month of 24/7s it will take us to complete the task.

In short. I love ya. I miss ya. I need ya. What more could you ask?

— Deb

That ought to cover it. I’m good for the next 4-6 months.