The Town-Crier’s Annual New Year’s Wish List, 2013 Edition

The New Year has arrived, and as part of our annual tradition, the Town-Crier welcomes 2013 with our list of New Year’s wishes for community leaders, institutions and other important figures in the area as well as some nationwide. In 2012, many of our past problems continued to drag (the economy), some older ones returned (flooding) and some have finally reached the breaking point (gun violence). To top it all off, it was an election year — as if there weren’t enough things for everyone to argue about. So after a year of seriously dealing with these matters in this space, it’s time we take a break to remind everyone it’s good to have a humble laugh, even if it’s at their expense. Of course, we sincerely wish for a great 2013 for everyone on this list, as well as for our readers. Happy New Year!

Inspector General Sheryl Steckler: A winning lottery ticket — the office has to get funded somehow!

The 14 Cities Fighting Inspector General Funding: A volunteer crime-fighting superhero to weed out corruption for free.

State Attorney Dave Aronberg: A new set of editors at his favorite daily newspaper!

Interim State Attorney Peter Antonacci: Judges who keep quiet and dare not speak their minds.

Former State Attorney Michael McAuliffe: Hope the golden parachute is working out well.

Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw: More re-election campaigns as easy as his previous two.

Palm Beach County Property Appraiser Gary Nikolits: Taxpayers who understand that the tax collector is really in charge of how much you pay.

Palm Beach County Tax Collector Anne Gannon: Taxpayers who understand that the property appraiser is really in charge of how much you pay.

County Commissioner Jess Santamaria: The authority to appoint his successor.

New County Commissioners Hal Valeche & Mary Lou Berger:
Awfully big feet to fill the awfully big shoes left by their predecessors Karen Marcus and Burt Aaronson.

Supervisor of Elections Susan Bucher: A year of glitch-free elections that keep her and her office out of the spotlight (and the courts)… and voting software that is not prone to “sequencing errors.”

Palm Beach County Schools Superintendent Wayne Gent: A tenure less stormy than his predecessor.

Wellington Mayor Bob Margolis: More agenda items that allow him to reminisce about his time with Proctor & Gamble.

Wellington Vice Mayor Howard Coates: A “you’re wrong” buzzer to press during legal commentary from other council members.

Wellington Councilman John Greene: A seat on the dais even farther away from Anne Gerwig.

Wellington Councilman Matt Willhite: That he never has to relive the night he thought he lost to Al Paglia.

Wellington Councilwoman Anne Gerwig: Council meetings that don’t run past her bedtime.

The Wellington Village Council: A year looking toward future resolutions, not past transgressions.

Wellington Staff: Purchasing cards for everyone!

Wellington Zoners:
A red-light district for the seedy underbelly of late-night bars and 24-hour businesses in Wellington.

Former Wellington Village Attorney Jeff Kurtz: A new job where he never has to hear the word equestrian again.

Wellington Village Manager Paul Schofield: An ironclad contract.

Wellington Residents: That increasing legal bills don’t result in increasing tax bills.

The Jacobs Family: A nice estate in Amish country — no traffic, no loudspeakers, no problem.

Horse Show Promoter Mark Bellissimo: A time machine, or if not, enough charity dollars to sway council votes in his favor.

Wellington Preservation Coalition Executive Director Tom Wenham: More parks, roads, festivals and fields to adopt.

Former Wellington Mayor Darell Bowen: A redo of the Oct. 26, 2011 Wellington Village Council meeting. Specifically, votes taken after midnight.

Former Wellington Councilman Dr. Carmine Priore: An unopposed path to the Palm Beach County Commission. (Don’t count on it!)

Wellington Seniors: That they live to see the opening of the new Wellington Community Center.

The Wellington Chamber of Commerce: A return to the good old days when the Wellington Village Council actually cared about what they thought.

The Central Palm Beach County Chamber of Commerce: More special events to promote, because there are still a few free weekends in the year.

The Acreage: A 2013 without flood waters — and long-needed improvements that stop flooding for good. If not, then stilts for everyone!

The Indian Trail Improvement District Board of Supervisors: Less digress, more progress.

ITID President Jennifer Hager: A crash course in Robert’s Rules of Order.

ITID Vice President Carol Jacobs: A district staff that treats her like a Barbie doll, not a rag doll.

ITID Supervisor Ralph Bair: A new voting system on the ITID board that weighs votes by seniority.

ITID Supervisor Gary Dunkley: Hordes more Acreage residents who suddenly decide to take an interest in the Indian Trail Improvement District.

ITID Supervisor Michelle Damone: U.S. Senate-style filibustering prowess.

ITID Administrator Tanya Quickel: More room in Wellington for Indian Trail castoffs.

60th Street Residents: A road that doesn’t end up like Okeechobee Blvd.

Ibis Residents: A bio dome to protect their community from the outside world.

Royal Palm Beach Village Manager Ray Liggins: A park contractor that actually pays late fees without coming up with more things to bill the village for.

Royal Palm Beach Mayor Matty Mattioli: A mute button for out-of-line council members so he doesn’t have to bother getting up.

Royal Palm Beach Vice Mayor Fred Pinto: More lessons from his political role model… County Commissioner Mary Lou Berger.

Royal Palm Beach Councilman Richard Valuntas: To have a nice entry sign to his community.

Royal Palm Beach Councilman Jeff Hmara: Manuals, procedures and protocols that make this governing thing easier.

Royal Palm Beach Councilwoman Martha Webster: Committee appointment via a musical chairs competition.

Former Royal Palm Beach Councilman David Swift: That the good old boys still have what it takes to get him across the finish line.

Royal Palm Beach Commons Park: Happier looking panthers.

Loxahatchee Groves: That Palm Beach State College offers a mandatory “Loxahatchee lifestyle” course for all first-semester students.

Loxahatchee Groves Town Manager Mark Kutney: “Government lite” that doesn’t weigh heavily on him.

Loxahatchee Groves Mayor Dave Browning: That the council just go ahead and appoint him mayor for life.

Loxahatchee Groves Vice Mayor Jim Rockett: For developers to stop actually reading documents approved by his council.

Loxahatchee Groves Councilman Ron Jarriel: A trail legal tractor.

Loxahatchee Groves Councilman Tom Goltzené: The authority to redesign the Palm Beach State College campus at will.

Loxahatchee Groves Water Control District Supervisor Frank Schiola: No more crises to summon his capability as an emergency worker.

LGWCD Supervisor Robert Snowball: More time to work on his racecars.

LGWCD Supervisor John Ryan: For folks to stop questioning his well-researched dissertations.

Former LGWCD Administrator Clete Saunier: A new job with twice the benefits and half the aggravation.

Loxahatchee Groves Drivers: Monster truck–style suspension to get over all those pesky speed humps.

U.S. Congressman Ted Deutch: Better name recognition among his new constituents in Wellington.

U.S. Congressman Patrick Murphy: A Congress that is interested in his desire to reach across party lines.

Former U.S. Congressman Allen West: A lucrative Fox News commentator contract while he searches the nation for his next political opportunity.

U.S. Senator Bill Nelson: More opponents like the last two Republicans put up against him.

U.S. Senator Marco Rubio: Vacation homes in Iowa and New Hampshire.

Florida State Senate Majority Leader Lizbeth Benacquisto: Remember your roots as you continue the climb toward the executive mansion.

State Senator Joseph Abruzzo: Passing enough legislation as a freshman senator to top his record-setting year as a freshman representative.

State Rep. Pat Rooney: A floating dog track in international waters so he can have slot machines (perhaps even card games) without waiting on the state.

State Rep. Mark Pafford: A house majority that takes his speeches seriously… not as stand-up comedy.

Gov. Rick Scott: A third career as an election rights advocate if this whole governor thing doesn’t work out.

Florida Democrats: A gubernatorial candidate with statewide name recognition.

President Barack Obama: Negotiating skills to rival that of his vice president.

The 113th U.S. Congress: The ability to get more things accomplished than the 112th Congress.

Doomsday Prognosticators: Something new to stress over now that the Mayans were wrong.

The Fiscal Cliff: Here’s hoping you don’t become a recurring theme in 2013.