THE SONIC BOOMER
This Sunday is Easter, and you know what that means: colored eggs and baskets filled with plastic grass and candy — lots and lots of candy. There’s a reason retailers sell so much candy on Easter, and it’s not children; it’s adults. Adults are sneaking candy out of plastic bags long before the holiday arrives.
It’s a good thing that the Easter Bunny has an unlimited supply.
On a recent visit to the Easter Bunny’s candy factory (located high in the mountains of Sweden just down the road from the Absolut distillery), I took copious notes on what the most popular brands of candy are so I could pass this valuable information on to you. I mean, if you have Easter candy questions, you should go to the source, right?
But on the way home, I crumpled up the paper in lieu of listing my own favorites.
I, therefore, suggest to you that the most popular Easter candy by far is Peeps. These unassuming little marshmallow ducks come down the Easter Bunny’s assembly line by the thousands, blissfully unaware that in a few short days, they will have their heads bitten off. Or be layered into s’mores. Or blown up in the microwave.
When I was young, Peeps were coated in yellow sugar. Even today, that is the quintessential Peep. But they now come in pink, blue and purple as well. They come shaped like rabbits and, in December, gingerbread men. One of the most successful variations is the chocolate-dipped Peep. Mmmmm.
Speaking of chocolate, the Reese’s peanut butter egg (or cup) is another good choice for discerning basket-fillers like Mr. Bunny and myself. Just like the TV commercial said, chocolate and peanut butter make a great combination.
Other Easter candy, very popular in the 1950s and remaining so today, are big chocolate eggs filled with coconut or vanilla cream or (yes!) still more chocolate. There’s a raspberry kind, too, but nobody cares about that.
Of course, jelly beans must make it into any basket. Argument continues to rage about the best flavor with, in my opinion, cherry red coming in first and the licorice-tasting black ones falling to dead last. My brother says the orange ones are the best and the purple ones that taste like soap are the worst. But that’s just another fun thing you can do with jelly beans — try to trade the ones you hate for the ones you love. It’s an Easter morning tradition.
Some baskets contain plastic eggs that open up to reveal a tiny toy (or still more candy) and then, of course, there are the giant chocolate rabbits wrapped in foil — the crowning glory of any Easter basket. Pardon my prejudice, but in my mind there is only one place to shop for these calorie-filled delights, and that is the original Hoffman’s. Godiva in the Mall at Wellington Green is good, too, if you’re not willing to make the trip east, but, if you can, make the trip. Where else are you going to find a 3-foot-tall solid chocolate rabbit that tastes so good that you (I mean, the kids) are going to consume every bite and never get sick of it? Hoffman’s.
So there you have it — my own highly subjective list of what every good Easter basket should contain. Of course, the list is open to debate. Just hurry up before I eat the evidence.
Your column in the TownCrier could have been amusing but the title took away its levity by disparaging Easter with a dismissal of its truth. “Sure, church is fine” is your less than subtle way of making the story of Jesus anecdotal – something you are entitled to express under the First Amendment but be ware that your position offends many and thereby limits your audience. Why is it that seculars can’t just be satisified expressing their thoughts without always trying to suppress the spiritual?