THE SONIC BOOMER
This month, Friday the 13th is sandwiched right between my birthday (well, OK, Abraham Lincoln’s birthday, too) and Valentine’s Day. Therefore, I see absolutely nothing that could go wrong on this dreaded of all Fridays.
Of course, you could have bad luck on Friday the 13th, if you tried. If you decided to pamper yourself with a red roses, good luck finding any. And if you do find them, be prepared to pay a premium. If you finally got up the courage to talk to that cute person at the jewelry counter, forget it — they’re kind of busy right now. If, as a joke, you are going to surprise your significant other by offering them a ring presentation box filled with Skittles, this is not the time to do that. Nor is it a good time to wear a tuxedo, unless you’re prepared to follow through.
Bad time to buy chocolates… Bad time to see a movie… Bad time to try to get a seat in a restaurant. All those things are wonderful, fun things but, unless you’ve got a Feb. 14 deadline, those are things that are best postponed.
Personally, I love it that my birthday is right there in the mix. People see red and think of me (in a good way, not the usual way). They’re out buying valentines for their loved ones and they slide over to the birthday section and get me a card, too. Because of this, I get an awful lot of cards on my birthday. I expect that people born near Christmas do, too.
I also get a lot of chocolates on my birthday. I feel bad that people have to stand in long lines just to buy me chocolates, but I know how to make up for that — by promptly offering them a chocolate!
The week of my birthday, my house is filled with red and pink and hearts and chocolates and cupcakes (well, I made those) and wine. One needs wine to make a decent cupcake. Not as an ingredient, but in order to see the process all the way through to the sprinkles on top.
I feel bad for people born on the 13th of the month, like my dad. Every seven years or so, his birthday falls on a Friday and, even if he doesn’t believe in the bad luck thing, others do. They’ll be moping around, looking over their shoulders, avoiding broken mirrors and black cats and my dad. Since they’re just waiting for some horrible thing to befall them, something awful is bound to happen.
The antidote is simple — get red and pink streamers, hearts, chocolates, a jug of wine and start baking those cupcakes! Even if it’s April 13, nothing bad is going to happen to you in a rose-colored environment like that. The worst that could happen is someone comes over and mistakes your birthday for Valentine’s Day.
They say, “What do you think this is? Valentine’s Day?” And then you get to say, “No, it’s my birthday.” And if you want, you can add, “…and I was feeling a little down because this year it fell on Friday the 13th.” The other person will say something nice like, “Well, happy birthday!” or “I didn’t know that was today!” or “Hey! Let me take you out to dinner!”
Red and pink and chocolates… magical.