THE SONIC BOOMER
Last Sunday was National Bosses Day, and I have a lot of questions about it. To answer my questions, we have brought in the originator of the idea, Mr. A. Brownoser.
ME: Mr. Brownoser, thanks for taking the time to chat with me today. Do you often find yourself speaking to the press?
BN: I hate speaking to the press. But my boss thought it would be a good idea.
ME: Well, we do have a few things we’d like to ask. For instance, how did you come up with the idea for Bosses Day?
BN: I noticed that a lot of unsung heroes were being lauded — you know, mothers, secretaries, members of the armed forces — and I thought, “Why not bosses? Bosses are hardly ever recognized!”
ME: Except through raises, bonuses, stock options and the fact that if they wanted a day off, they could surely give themselves one.
BN: They could have, but they don’t! That’s why last August — and I remember it was August because I needed to go in and ask for a raise so I could afford a week of summer vacation — I came up with the idea of Bosses Day.
ME: But why did you choose to celebrate it on a Sunday when most members of the workforce are away from their bosses?
BN: Well, it turns out I couldn’t drum up a lot of support for my idea. My boss liked it — not to the extent of giving me a raise, of course — but when it got to the employees association, they actually voted it down. Unanimously.
ME: Yet it still exists. Let me guess. They were overruled by…
BN: …our boss, yes, and I know what you’re thinking — why have an employees association if they can be overruled on a simple thing like that?
ME: It did cross my mind.
BN: Employees associations are a fundamental part of a democratic workplace!
ME: OK then, moving on. Because Bosses Day was held on a Sunday this year, what did bosses realistically expect from their employees on that day?
BN: They knew they weren’t going to ask for the day off, that’s for sure! They didn’t expect them to come in late or grouse about low pay or be out of uniform! They didn’t have to see them hanging out around the water cooler or skipping out a half hour early or ordering Christmas gifts online during work hours! They didn’t have to flinch at what they were wearing, how they were talking or what they were doing! It turns out the one thing bosses really want on National Bosses Day is to be far from their employees.
ME: And that’s what you gave them — you and the employees association.
BN: Well, not exactly. The employees wanted to celebrate with a day off, and the boss said, “OK, Sunday.”
ME: Democracy triumphs again.
BN: Darn right!
Happy National Bosses Day, which actually dates back to the 1950s. It is celebrated annually on Oct. 16, but this year was “observed” on Oct. 17.
