THE SONIC BOOMER
’Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the town,
The people were restless, could NOT settle down.
’Cause they’d heard a rumor, that Santa’s retired,
He was off in the islands, had hired a buyer!
This rumor had started, last year, Christmas Day,
When a bright little guy, had asked his mom, “Hey!
What’s up here? What’s this? On the box from my cymbals!
I thought the elves made them, but… UPC symbols!”
His mom’s eyes grew wide, (the kid was observant),
So her answer to him, was incredibly fervent.
“Well, yes, son, elves make toys, but sometimes each year,
When they’re running late, making holiday cheer,
They’ll ask Santa Claus, if they can come down,
From the North Pole to shop here, in our little town.
He’ll give them some cash, and they’ll come to the mall,
Stock up on more toys and then dash away, all.”
Her son frowned and said, “Mom, I don’t know what you mean.
I’ve never seen elves shop at Wellington Green.”
She laughed and said, “No. You wouldn’t have seen ’em,
They come late at night, when people are sleeping!”
“The mall doors are locked, but they know a back way,
They choose what they need, and use gold coins to pay.
They throw the coins down and dash back to the Pole,
With just enough time for the Merry Old Soul,”
“To jump in his sleigh, to his team give a whistle,
And head ’round the world like a jet-propelled missile.”
The boy nodded. Made sense. I mean, toys for each child?
With supply chains in trouble and ships in ports piled?
He could see where the elves might not get what they need.
No paint, screws or metal. No more reindeer feed!
So, even though Christmas was then over and done,
The boy took some carrots, put them out on the lawn.
And Dasher and Dancer, halfway to the moon,
Circled back and had carrots aplenty… at noon.
This year, Santa is back (’cause he never retired).
His elves are at work (and some more have been hired.)
He buys nails in bulk, and paint by the quart.
And the reindeer make regular trips to the port.
His problems are solved and his reindeer are fed,
And kids ’round the world can now GET TO BED!
Merry Christmas, everybody! (And for solving the world’s supply chain challenges with the innovative solution of reindeer power — you’re welcome.)