It Takes A Long Time To Plan A Baby Shower

THE SONIC BOOMER

What fun I had last Sunday! I threw a baby shower for my daughter, Jennifer, and her husband, Greg. Yes, I know what Emily Post’s etiquette book says about showers for a second child — they’re a no-no. But because there’s already a boy in the family and modern technology tells us this one will be a girl, I felt there was just cause for celebration.

Etiquette also says that close family members, especially the expectant woman’s mother, are not to throw the shower. You know what I say to that? Blah, blah, blah. Jen is suffering all the symptoms of pregnancy without a single complaint. The kid deserves a party!

So I sent out a pile of pink invitations and then spent a delightful morning at the party store, stocking up on all things pink, tempering the Pepto-Bismol look with black-and-white zebra stripes. I bought streamers and balloons and giant pink paper cupcakes. I bought plastic pink “diamonds” and swirly pink lollipops, pink jellybeans and taffy, plastic pink-feathered headbands for the women and pink construction workers’ hats for the men. Oh, and a couple of zebra-striped paper lanterns.

Jen is not a girly-girl. At work, one of the invitees came up to her and asked, “I want to buy a baby gift. Pink or no pink?” She replied, “It depends. Do you want to make me happy, or my mom?” (He ended up bringing two gifts, the poor guy.)

Once the living room was decorated (three days in advance), I was free to concentrate on the food. A trip to Costco resulted in two shopping carts full of everything I needed to make shish kabobs and sangria. (I say this as if I was going to make these things. No, that was my husband’s job, a job he relishes and is very good at! If left to me, these wonderful people would be eating over-microwaved wienies and drinking grape Kool-Aid.)

The cake was a conundrum until I chanced upon a pink-and-black-frosted cake with leopard-spot sides and glitter. Do you believe it? It was so over-the-top and ridiculous I had to get it. Plus, it went with my theme. I considered finding that cake a gift from heaven — and the great-great-grandmas.

I also bought a selection of prizes for the games I was planning — zebra-striped picture frames, giant Hershey bars and anything else I personally would appreciate receiving as a prize. Of course, not that I planned to play the games. I don’t need Emily Post to tell me that! On the day of the party, guests unscrambled words and listed potential baby names (the usual baby shower fare), but I had also instituted a doll-changing relay race, hot potato baby and the distance binky spit (a game that is well worth the $25 spent purchasing pacifiers).

After opening their pink-pink-pink gifts and one black leather jacket (from my brother, of course), Greg and Jen looked at each other and said, “I guess we’re having a girl.”

Mission accomplished!