Editor’s note: The following letter is in response to the letter “Insurance Laws Need To Be Changed” by Bedonna Flesher, published last week.
For the woman who shared her angst about her mother having an active life insurance policy on her now, as an adult, where the mother is the beneficiary — you are not alone.
My mother has not only one, but two policies on me, where she is the beneficiary. Both policies originated and were inked before my first birthday in 1967. I am now 50. Mom will be 94 in October. Statistically, I’ve got a shot to out-live her.
The only reason I know of these policies is that sometime in my early-20s, a nurse came to our home and gave me a physical, which required a urine and blood sample. And because I was over 18 and asked the nurse what all this was for, she told me. The top of mom’s head popped-off… and that’s when the fight started.
Some 20 years later, mom and I had a heated discussion over why she wanted to keep these policies in place. I don’t know what the “laws of death” decry about a child’s passing and a parent’s obligation to pay lingering debt. The ironic thing in my case — none of my debt is at all connected to her!
And alas, the greedy money dragon raised its head again when I finalized my living will; replete with a designated power of attorney, written OK for someone to pull my plug if I’m on life support and an executor of my humble estate (debt included). When mom discovered she wasn’t my executor (she was 89 at the time), she didn’t talk to me for a month! That made for some chilly living conditions in our house.
It has taken me a long time to stow this issue. I console myself with: if mom wants to throw her own money, straight out the proverbial window, at a statistical chance with high probability of failure — then that’s her choice.
Maybe I haven’t totally stowed it since I’m responding to your letter. I can empathize with your desire to move your petition into some sort of common sense law where an adult child has some say in being named in a life insurance policy.
I’m sure all the shrinks and mind-fixers would love to get their hands on the two of us and delve into our psyche. Be wary of any unidentified numbers on your cell phone. In the meantime, step away from the madness that plagues your days. You’ll thank yourself for it.
Laura Danowski, Loxahatchee Groves
